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LoveYourBrain Tip: Not Yet

NOT YET

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BRAIN HEALTH | 11.6.2017 | BY KARLY MAURER

loveyourbrain

On December 3, 2016 Karly’s life changed in a heartbeat. A metal shelf fell about 15 feet onto her head. She felt like she had lost herself, her dreams and goals, and more importantly, her friends. She has learned to accommodate her new daily life, and has found two powerful words that help her get through. The words are “Not Yet.”

“You should never use the words ‘I can't’ or ‘never’. Just because you are not able do it now doesn't mean you will never be able to, just not yet,” says Karly.

Here are three areas where this mentality helps Karly:

  • One piece of my life that can find help from those two little words ‘Not Yet’ is when depression hits. It's hard, it really is. But when you find some ground you can look at yourself and say "not yet"
  • Often times, I go and push myself to the point where I regret it. And then "not yet" sinks in saying "hey, look, you can’t do this now, but later down the road we can try again". It's frustrating to say the least but it really does teach you lessons. "Not yet" teaches you your limits, your capabilities and it teaches you yourself.
  • “Not yet" doesn't just affect me, it affects my family. Because they see me and I'm not who I used to be. Since my injury, they have learned "not yet", as well. We can't go out shopping much anymore or out to eat, but that's just a "not yet" situation. We can't take 10 hour car rides for a vacation, but again, that's a "not yet" scenario. “Not yet” doesn't just help the person with a brain injury, it also helps the caregivers and family.

Using this mindset of “not yet” allows you to acknowledge where you are at this moment while believing in your capacity to grow and participate more in the future. This blend of insight and optimism promotes self acceptance, perseverance, and self compassion. We hope that Karly’s courageous and valuable advice helps others who are learning to accept the pace of healing.