Say ‘Yes’ to Help
Optimism | 4.20.2020 | By Jerry Simon and Shilo Zeller, BSC.
More often than not, when a loved one or stranger offers to help us, we politely respond with a “no thank you” or “it’s okay”. Oftentimes, we think it’s a burden to accept help. However, research shows that many people feel good when their offer of help is accepted. It’s the ultimate way to show our gratitude and appreciation for one another; by offering and accepting help.
My wife, Julie, and I have been on this journey for nearly 10 years and one of the most powerful things I’ve learned is say yes to help. Both Julie and I are very independent and accepting help doesn’t come easy to either of us. What I’ve learned is that saying yes to help not only helps the survivor and caregiver/supporter, but also those who are helping. People want to help. Accepting that help provides a sense of community and allows them to contribute to the recovery.
Our journey started in 2010 as a result of an automobile accident. Last year (2019) was a difficult year due to some “breakthroughs” - Julie had three different incidents of breakthrough seizures…January, May, and September – the last one the day after we left the 2019 fall LYB Retreat at Wavus. As a result, Julie’s Club formed within our neighborhood. A group of neighbors organized rides for Julie to and from work and to help with picking up our daughter Trinity from school. The day after we returned from the Retreat, I saw a member of Julie’s Club heading out for a run. I told her what happened and she got to work quickly! By that evening, she had re-mobilized the Club for the third time of 2019 and coordinated schedules to ensure Julie had rides to/from work and often, Trinity home from school - all without asking/prompting from us! From a caregiver’s/supporter’s perspective, the burden that took off me was HUGE. Thanks to Joan and Mike, Elsa and Joe, Dianne and Dave, and Vivienne.
SAY YES TO HELP and pay it forward! Next step...ask for help…we have a little bit of work to do on that one! Onward and upward!